Luckily I don’t carry an umbrella on my bike.
It is the end of week 5 of IM training. What a week it has been, and I don’t mean that in a good way.
I had been thinking a lot this week about whether to write this post as I didn’t want to come across as negative as I am sure people do not want to read rants from me. However, I decided that for my own self-therapy and learning I needed to get a few things off of my chest. After all it is through sharing the hard stuff that we actually learn.
So what did I learn this week:
I am still well and truly addicted to chocolate.
Wellington weather sucks!
Physical training is the easy part (but made much harder with a bad diet).
This week was meant to be a bit of an easier week for me. That is all where is started to go downhill. With the mind set of a rest came the chocolate. Up until now I had been really good at just having a portion and then eating healthily for the rest of the time. I was still losing weight and having my cake, life was good!
However, last Sunday I had some unplanned treats, which lead to more unplanned treats (damn the Salted Caramel Oreo Slice I saw at New World – but it was good and I recommend it). Because these treats were not planned I didn’t have a process in place for how to cope with them. So I just kept eating.
The next day I felt awful! I had headaches and was bloated and gasey. Not good! However, because the over indulgence had triggered my addiction I kept eating. It was like a downward spiral were there was no way out. I was so disappointed with myself it made me feel worse and chocolate became even more of a refuse.
The chocolate belly is back!
What I needed to do was accept that this binge was ok and move on. But as they say, old habits die hard. This one is fighting particularly hard!
To make things even worse, it seemed that every time I went outside to do some training, it was raining and there was a cold southerly wind. My hands and feet would go numb and I would start shouting at the wind to give me a break. I really am a fair weather rider!
This Saturday I had a long swim set, followed by a 3 hour bike and a 10 minute run off of the bike. I did not want to get out of bed to make the 7:30am swim start! I considered the alternative of just sleeping in and having a day off. But had I earned a day off? No! The lethargic feelings were all my own doing and I would punish myself through training.
My resolve was tested further when I went to leave my house for the swim and my bike tire was completely flat – for the second time that week! I didn’t have time to change it so pumped it up and when it didn’t go down immediately, rode to the pool. Then I had to borrow someone else’s swim cap and googles because I had forgotten my own. Always pack EVERYTHING you need the night before. Other people’s googles are not comfy!
I persevered with my training and kept getting up early and completing my assigned sessions no matter what (plus, on a positive note, it was sunny on Saturday morning). This is the type of dedication that I need to transfer to a long term way of eating.
As I said, training is easy and I am very disciplined in that regard. Controlling emotional eating is hard. A friend said to me that when you are changing your diet you have to be prepared to have set-backs, it is normal and ok. She is 100% right.
So have I accepted my binge and am I now ready to get back to healthy eating? The answer to that is an uncertain “yes?”. I’m still grappling with my own inner monologue on that one. However, the key will be for me to have a healthy and exciting dinner to set me back on track (got to give the taste buds something to look forward to that isn’t laden with sugar). I am resilient and will bounce back!
After all, it is National Road Relays next week…